During the divorce process, communication from both parties is crucial. However, if you have a lawyer representing your interests, you cannot contact your spouse’s lawyer.
Therefore, before making contact, it is important to know that there are rules governing these communications, such as:

Who is involved?

The first thing to know is who may be involved with communications during a divorce proceeding:

  • Lawyers.
  • Paralegals and other support staff.
  • Court employees; clerks and Judges.
  • Clients, which are parties to a divorce who hire a lawyer to represent their interests.
  • Pro-se parties, which are parties to a divorce who represent their own interests rather than hiring a lawyer.

Who can contact who?

In a divorce proceeding, these are the following communications that may occur:

  • Client to their hired Lawyer.
  • Client to their lawyer’s paralegal.
  • Lawyer to Paralegal.
  • Lawyer to Lawyer.
  • Pro-se Party to their spouse’s hired Lawyer.
  • Lawyers to clerks.
  • Paralegals to clerks.
  • Lawyers to Judges.

Why I am not allowed to communicate with my spouse’s lawyer?

If you have a lawyer, you cannot contact your spouse’s lawyer for the following reasons:

  • First, that lawyer for your spouse is not permitted to speak to you if you have legal representation. You may unknowingly agree to terms that are not favorable to your position.
  • You may provide information without your lawyer’s knowledge that could negatively impact your case or their ability to obtain an ideal outcome for you.

For these reasons, your lawyer will communicate as necessary with your spouse’s lawyer and you will never have direct or one on one contact with your spouse’s lawyer.

Pro-se parties and their spouse’s lawyer

If you choose to represent your own interests as a pro-se party, you will have to communicate with your spouse’s lawyer.
If you choose not to, it will be more difficult for everyone involved to finalize the divorce.
If you are choosing not to communicate in an effort to remain married, know that your spouse will still be able to finalize the divorce.

Why is good communication so important during a divorce?

The only way to finalize a divorce efficiently is with good communication. When there is good communication between the parties and their lawyers:

  • Settlement negotiations run more smoothly.
  • All necessary documentation may be executed as efficiently as possible.
  • Trial deadlines are met.
  • The divorce may be finalized as soon as possible.


While communication is an important part of the divorce process, who communicates with who is just as important. When both parties have lawyers, the lawyers communicate about the case. Only pro-se parties may communicate directly with their spouse’s lawyer.
Should you be in search of strong legal counsel to represent your interests, contact The Hopkins Law Firm via telephone at 571-248-2210 or email at


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