What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Is Having An Affair?
You had your suspicions; extra late nights at work, spending more time on their phone than usual. Then you discover proof. Now what should you do? Attorney Michelle Hopkins offers advice below.
Document
Dates, locations and summaries of alleged or known adultery is important in a divorce. You may consider hiring a private investigator. If you choose not to hire a private investigator, you should keep records in a journal style format of dates and a summary of the suspicious events. When you discover evidence, note in your journal, and preserve the evidence that you find as appropriate. For example, if your partner’s paramour reached out to you, screen shot the messages and add them to the journal.
Step Away
When you find significant evidence of an affair, it can be very tempting to run straight to your spouse and confront them. First, take a step away to regain a calm, level head. Depending upon the state of your marriage, this could be a very difficult conversation, which is best approached after having time to cool off.
Protect Yourself
To protect yourself, do not have unprotected sexual relations with your spouse until you have both been tested for sexually transmitted diseases. In some divorces, the unfaithful spouse has agreed to be responsible for the expense of testing for the faithful spouse.
If you have decided to leave the marriage or you are unsure if you want to stay, do not have sexual relations with your spouse to maintain a date of separation, which you will need to finalize the divorce.
If your spouse’s paramour has been contacting you or is someone you know and you are concerned for your safety as a result of their behavior or comments to you, take steps to protect yourself. You may need to distance yourself from them, block their phone number, or in some extreme circumstances, you may need to consider seeking a protective order.
Find Legal Counsel
To ensure that your interests are protected, most especially if your spouse is motivated to abruptly exit the marriage and establish a life with the paramour, you need strong legal counsel to fight for your interests. You may be in a very delicate emotional state, leaving you susceptible to being bullied into walking away with less than you deserve from your marriage.
In preparation of meeting with your divorce lawyer, prepare the following:
- Basic marital information such as marital address, children’s ages, your respective incomes, etc.
- Any records of the affair in your possession.
- A list of any questions or concerns that you would like to discuss.
To find a divorce lawyer, you will need to search for family lawyers or divorce lawyers that represent clients in your jurisdiction. Your jurisdiction is the county in which your marital address is located. While you could use any legally practicing lawyer in your state, if a lawyer lives a significant distance from the Court of your jurisdiction, you would pay significantly higher legal fees.
If your marital address is located in Virginia, you will need a Virginia divorce lawyer. If your marital address is in Prince William County, Fauquier County, Fairfax County, Warren County or Loudoun County, Michelle Hopkins, Sydney Remaily, and Tyler Melton of The Hopkins Law Firm offer their services your jurisdiction.
A strong Virginia divorce lawyer like Michelle Hopkins will fight for your interests, helping you walk away in the best possible position to establish yourself independently.
Alternatively, your anger may fuel a fire in your mind to drag your spouse through all the legal mud you are able to. While you certainly could fight at every turn, and from a human perspective, fighting for a principle in Court may feel like the right move. However, a good Virginia divorce lawyer such as Michelle Hopkins or her associate attorneys, Sydney Remaily or Tyler Melton, would advise you that fighting for a principle isn’t always the wisest decision.
Schedule A Consultation
Discovering your spouse is having an affair can cause you to experience a range of emotions, which may not leave you in the most ideal state to make significant life decisions. The legal team at The Hopkins Law Firm is ready and waiting to help you through this difficult time. Please do not hesitate to contact our office today at 571-248-2210 or info@mhopkinslaw.com to schedule a consultation. Michelle Hopkins and her legal team look forward to speaking with you.